As Mothers of daughters we take on a responsibility of trying to make sure our little girls grow up knowing they are beautiful, worthy, confident, smart, kind and all those things we want them to be in order to be strong women in the future. When you take on this task with two Girlies who have polar opposite personalities this can be a bit challenging to say the least.
This is something I am faced with on a daily basis. My Girlies are 4 and 6 and although they are close in age they couldn’t be further apart personality. My oldest is very social and outgoing. She loves being the center of well…everything. She absorbs information like a sponge and spits it out like a fountain. She likes to dance, sing and anything that has to do with arts or being creative. She is a master at what she likes to call ‘helping’ her siblings do stuff the ‘right way’ and if they can’t get it right when she how she’s telling them she rather just do it herself or by herself. She is not very confrontational with Kiddies outside of the family and will avoid an argument at all costs. She will perform without any persuasion or at times without even being asked. She’s my Rockstar and can’t wait to be famous but inside she’s a softy and very tender-hearted.
My youngest daughter on the other hand is very much to herself. She enjoys playing in a corner or only with her siblings. If no one notices her at all that is fine by her. She enjoys dancing, singing and arts but only in the comforts and seclusion of our home. Please don’t ask her to show anyone or try to explain her creativity to anyone outside of her circle. She is protective of her siblings to a fault and if anyone tries to hurt them in anyway this is probably the only time you will see her step outside of herself. When she does you will see a side of her that may surprise you. She will defend her sister and family more than she will defend herself. Talk about her all you want but say something about her sister or a relative and she’s at the defense. She loves doll houses, dollies and playing dress-up. She’s my Princess but don’t mess with her family because she’s tougher than she appears.
As an observer, these two little Girlies are other’s shadows and appear to be the best of friends. Yet as their Momma, I know they have battles that could shake the rafters. The Rockstar has a very dominant personality and my Princess usually is fine with letting that be. There are times though, seemingly out-of-the-blue times, when my little Princess has just had enough and she just decides to say ‘NO’. For the Rockstar this is almost a foreign language and when it happens she has no idea how to react. Here is where the battles begin. As a ‘star’ drama is like second nature and to be told ‘NO’ is not something she will take lightly. Yet as a Princess who has a tough interior, budging once she has set her mind to something is not something that will happen soon either. They become two very strong personalities set directly against each other with no signs of giving in. Yet the Rockstar, who doesn’t like physical confrontations, will usually be the one to end up pulling the ‘Momma Card’ because my Royal Princess has no problems taking things to a physical level. This is where I have to step in and try to find a balance of defending and protecting both personalities while still showing them how to resolve their conflicts peacefully.
I always teach them no matter what the circumstance and what situation they ever come against they need to be each other’s best friends and biggest supporters. I teach them they are and always will be sisters. Whether they argue, fuss or fight sisters are forever. So far, it seems to be working…LOL. They learn that after the battles are over, whoever wins…they apologize, hug (I believe in hugging it out simply to release some of the tension…who can stay mad through a good hug? and forgive each other.
When it comes to trying to encourage each of them equally and according to their distinct personalities I have to take on two very different approaches. As a Mother, I have to learn how to approach them and teach them where there are as individuals. I’ve also had to learn simply because they are girls doesn’t mean I can dress them in pink tutus and fluffy dresses. For instance, one of them loves purple and the other actually loves blue way more than she likes pink. One is a complete germaphobe who will wash her hands after a single crumb touches her and the other will dig in the mud all day and not think twice about taking a bath. I have to approach them as they develop naturally as well as who I try to help them be in regards to their values and morals. I need to allow them to show me who they are as people and then do my job as a Mother to develop that.
How do you deal with the different personalities in your home if you have multiple Kiddies? If you have only one, how do you help that child develop his/her distinct personality?
This post was written as part of Better Mom Mondays Link-up is every Monday!!! Every week there are hundreds of posts linked up here from so many beautiful women with beautiful things to share!